A Game of Princesses
by Black Gold Saya
Summary: Bowser gains a new identity- the fearsome, brilliant Bowsette. With this gift comes a fresh perspective, and a mission. However, this shift in personas leads to an unbalance between the Mushroom Kingdom, and the Dark Lands. As the turmoil builds will Bowsette's actions save the world, or is she the harbinger of destruction?
1. The Crown of Destiny

**Mushroom Kingdom, Peach's Castle**

Sandwiched between the ground floor of Castle Toadstool and the dungeon, hidden in a quirk of architecture that the fire marshal would not have approved of- was the strange laboratory of one Professor E. Gadd, a gifted but, at most times, inscrutable man of science. He was generally seen as the most practical among his colleagues, not nearly as dynamic in personality as Dr. Mad Sciencestein, nor as bold as Dr. Crygor in pushing the limits of science and discovery. Professor E. Gadd had devoted his life to the study and understanding of unlife. He had spent years studying Dry Bones and Chichos and such, but his true passion was researching boo-kind.

No one could quite remember when he had taken up residence at the castle, or whom had given him permission to move in to start with. Peach assumed it was one of her advisors, who in turn assumed residency had been granted by someone else or the princess herself. Bureaucratic investigations are not a priority at Peach's castle is what you should take away from this.

It was no mystery _why_ he had set up shop within the castle, however. There was a small contingent of boo living (or unliving. Whatever) in the castle, which were worth studying by themselves, but what really interested the good professor was the portal to Big Boo's Haunt, known more formally as Big Boo's Mansion (Not to be confused with Boo Mansion) a mansion theorized to exist in the Paranormal Dimension, origin place of boo-kind and King Boo's personal kingdom.

Now while boologist like Professor E. Gad was fascinated by such a place, his occasional 'research assistant' Luigi was less thrilled at the prospect of encountering more boos. A conflict of interests one might say. Just at the moment though no expeditions or experiments were underway, nor was Luigi in attendance. We'll go visit him later on in the story.

The professor was tinkering around on some new ghost grabbing gadgets, to aid in a future venture and to (hopefully) put Luigi's concerns to rest. However, Professor E. Gadd was working with very unstable elements, trying to merge magic and science, two things that sometimes go together and sometimes don't. And sometimes they don't go together but more explosion-y. This was one of those times.

A low rumble made the dungeon denizens look up fearfully, dust drifting down from the ceiling. Professor E. Gadd lifted his thick goggles and scratched at his remaining tuft of white hair, examining the larger chunks of the former electronic device, trying to figure out what exactly had gone wrong.

"Oya ma! Gung jnf na harkcrpgrq ernpgvba." He commented more to himself than to his laboratory assistant, R.O.B. The short boxy robot didn't speak, yet it still managed to express itself in how it reacted to comments or events. His contemplation was interrupted as a small portion of the wall crumbled away, revealing a space behind it.

'Zrrrrrrr zrrr zzzzzzrrr." R.O.B. buzzed sarcastically as it rolled on treads to the new wall hole, shifting larger rubble away, and beginning to clean up dust and smaller pieces of debris. It was clear that the wall had been hastily patched up in the past, and probably wouldn't have stayed entact another year anyway, making this a very fortunate accident. Or at least an interesting accident. Surprisingly the false wall hadn't been the shoddy craftsmanship of lazy toadstools, at least not _merely_ the shoddy craftsmanship of lazy toadstools. We can't rule anything out, really.

More interesting than Mushroom Kingdom construction workers and their possible duplicity was the mystery item. An object squirrelled away in the hole for the future to find, or perhaps to avoid its future discovery. It was a crown adorned with a pink mushroom cap and eyes, also like a mushroom. Gadd had never seen such a power-up item before. "Zzzrr zzrrrrrr!" R.O.B. buzzed in annoyance, bumping into Gadd's leg to get him out of the way.

"Ubj phevbhf." Gadd mused, turning the power-up in his hands as he absently stepped away from the moody robot, the explosion already forgotten in his mind as he refocused completely on the new mystery at hand. Several hours of tweaking, testing and poking later and E. Gadd thought he had an idea what the crown did, though he still had no idea _why_ it existed. Or whom had hidden it away originally, or even why. But he thought it might solve Peach's issues with being kidnapped, if it did what he suspected, and minus any willing participants to experiment on, theories were all he had.

Scans revealed it was a transformative magic item, not unlike a Super Leaf. The crown function seemed to alter the wearer to a specific gene matrix. Another note being the crown was much older than it looked. Possibly as old as the castle itself. Which just begged the question- why a priceless family heirloom was hidden away to be forgotten? Or was it meant to be retrieved at some future date but circumstances wouldn't allow its retrieval?

 **Later: Peach's Castle, throne room**

"I'm sorry, what now?" Peach asked in confusion, not quite believing what she had just heard proposed. "You want to use this- untested artifact- to change one of my loyal subjects into a clone of me, so Bowser will kidnap them next time?" Well, when she said it like that it sounded kind of amoral. This was one of the issues of not having an assistant that spoke in words. You couldn't bounce ideas off them to sort the bad ones from the good. And E. Gadd had so many ideas, who could sort all the terrible ones from the brilliant ones?

"V jnf whfg huvat..." Gadd started to say, perhaps to salvage the idea, but Peach just raised a gloved hand for him to stop, something she reserved to impress seriousness. The princess was not known for being severe, and the very rare cutoff was the extent of her unbecoming indulgences. That and lying her spoon the wrong way when she was finished with tea.

"I'm sorry, Professor, I simply can't endanger my people, and whoever takes my place would be doing just that. Furthermore, it would be really easy for this to get out of control. If our enemies got ahold of this item the results could be catastrophic, not even to bring up the ethical dilemma of using an experimental object on my citizens-"

That was all the spy-toad known as Shif .T needed to hear. He quickly exited the castle and made his way to a mostly forgotten warp pipe located in the abandoned Mario Circuit raceway, a weed-choked relic of bygone events. He crouched at the base of the rusted tube and held his breath a moment, listening for hungry jaws snapping, or the tell-tell scraping of a piranha plant slithering around inside. Of course this system had been supposedly cleared of monsters, but that was years ago when this was still an active racetrack, and all it took was one careless mistake to become a piranha snack. Climbing into the tube with a grunt, he was whisked to his destination with a speed that defied physics and logic. The warp pipe exited just outside the creepy old Toadwood Forest, a place of deep shadows and creepy vibes even in the middle of the day. It was a haunted place that was fertilized on death, torture and fear.

"Pssst." Shif .T hissed, trying to alert his contact without actually entering the shadows. "PSSSST!" Still no response from the Dark Land contact. Shif .T reluctantly walked into the spooky woods, imagining sounds in the brush and eyes in the dark. He hadn't taken ten steps when something grabbed the back of his shirt. "Aaaaaahhhhhhhh!"

"Silence, traitor. It is I." The contact recoiled from Shif .T, like a receding shadow. It was a black-clad Anti Guy who loved sneaking around and making grand proclamations about Bowser. No wonder he hadn't been noticed among the dark trees. "What information do you present for our supreme sovereign?" He was a rather forward 'guy' that went by the handle Shadow Guy, a laughably fake name. "Waste not the time of he who serves might, lest you find yourself poised under the hammer of judgement, for we are all mere bugs for our lord to trample upon."

"That senile lunatic... Gadd... He discovered an artifact buried in the castle. A unique crown power-up that has Peach all kinds of paranoid. Something of catastrophic proportions according to the princess herself. I assumed it was something Bowser would be interested in." Shif .T looked around as he reported, imagining he could hear unseen horrors surrounding them.

"You presumed correctly." Shadow Guy replied, silently disapproving of the lack of honorifics in regards to the Lord of the Dark Lands. "All power naturally flows to the center as nature commands it. Our lord is a vacuum to which all strength is drawn and assimilated, glory to his power and might." Shadow Guy paused dramatically for a moment. "Who else knows of this object?" The dead eye-holes of his mask bore into Shif .T intensely.

"No one else! Peach won't be talking about it and the old man has probably forgotten already." Something crunched some leaves behind him, making Shif .T spin around in fear, visions of angry toad ghosts and feral piranha plants dancing in his head. When he looked back, Shadow Guy was gone.

 **Dark Lands. Bowser's Castle, throne room**

The King of Koopas was busy entertaining his precocious only child. Only birth child, that is. He had long since adopted the koopalings, back when he believed he would never have a true heir. But here it was, his own little miracle whom he loved so much as to name them after himself. A not-so-subtle declaration of the line of succession. Junior was sitting on the arm of the throne as his father spun stories of his past adventures, some real, some made up in the moment.

"But how did you get the blargg to live in the castle's lava traps?" Junior asked, leaning too far back on his perch and fell with a startled squeak. Bowser scooped his hand behind Junior's shell and lifted him back to his seat like he weighed nothing.

"I wrestled them out of their magma pools, and when they refused to serve me I tickled them into submission!" Bowser declared with a wicked grin. "Oh, you don't believe your old man can wrestle such beasts?" He continued as Junior looked rather doubtful. "Let me demonstrate!" He gave a mock roar and began teasing Junior's sides and tummy, almost causing the boy to fall off again as he giggled. They were interrupted by a blue-shelled koopa aid silently signaling for Bower's attention.

"My lord." He said when he caught the kings eyes. "It's Shadow Guy."

Bowser sighed. "Say, Champ, why don't you go practice your fire breathing for a while?" He said, gently setting his son on the carpeted stone floor.

"Aw Pops. I already did it todayyyyyy." Junior grumbled, crossing his arms across his bib. He sensed something interesting was about to happen and he didn't want to miss it. Pom Pom was standing to one side during all this. The nanny mentally prepared herself for a troublesome afternoon with a cranky Junior.

"Well," Bowser scratched his chin thoughtfully "Why don't you go play your video game... machine... thing. You conquered that yet?"

"Naw, you keep limiting my play time." Junior replied with less of a pout now.

"How would you like some extra play time today? Think you can beat that game for daddy?" He poked Junior in the side again, teasing a smile from the boy now.

"Oh I don't know if more games would be good for him-" Pom Pom started to say, before Junior ran past her.

"Pops said I can play more!" He hollered over his shoulder before Bowser could have his mind changed. Not that that was ever going to happen anyway.

"I'll keep him occupied my lord." Pom Pom bowed and left in the direction Junior had fled, though Bowser barely noticed, having already dismissed her.

Shadow Guy approached the throne like, well, a shadow. "Report!" Bowser grunted. "This better be something important or I'm deep frying that toad and eating it, then you for dessert." If the threat frightened Shadow Guy he didn't show it. Really unlike a shy guy if you thought about it, but Bowser was not one for deep contemplations. That's why he had advisors.

"My sources say the princess has a new weapon. A magic crown. Potentially devastating in nature, especially if it was used against the Mushroom Kingdom. Such a device existing outside of your control is abominable, my lord. The powerless grasping to pull the strings of destiny from your iron grip, but with..." he went on at some length in that pseudo-poetic dialogue before finally pausing for dramatic effect.

"Get it for me." Bowser cut-in before Shadow Guy could launch into afresh diatribe. "BRING IT BEFORE THE- oh. He's gone. Hm." Bowser usually had to yell at his goons to get them into motion.

"You yelled, lordship?" Kamek the magikoopa asked as he phased through the wall. He had been waiting on Bowser since he was a new baby, then took a parental role over the koopalings. Now he divided his servitude between father and son.

"A new power item was discovered in the Mushroom Kingdom. A crown or something. I sent Shadow Guy to fetch it for me."

"A crown powerup…." Kamek mused aloud. Something about it sounded vaguely familiar. "Let me go check the archives…" He phased through the floor still talking to himself and leaving Bowser to his own thoughts.

 **Later. Back at Peach's Castle**

Night had fallen and Peach was ready to call it as just that; However, on a whim she decided to take a detour to the castle treasury instead. The mystery crown was locked in a wooden chest with a few other odds and ends of low importance, but valuable enough to be stored as treasure. It didn't look particularly special or dangerous, however appearances could be most deceiving. The mystery surrounding it and its power was as relevant as the havoc it could wreck, if Professor E. Gadd's suggestion were to be believed. Her ethics wouldn't allow her to test the magic of the crown on other people, but she still suffered from burning curiosity. What was the worst thing that could happen, really?

Feeling foolish in spite of herself, she lifted the crown and placed it on her head. There was a quick tingle throughout her body, but nothing more. She didn't know precisely what she expected to occur, but it was probably a dumb idea to be playing with it like this, alone. Or not so alone... She suddenly felt self-conscious, as if she was being watched from somewhere in the room. She quickly removed the crown and briskly excited, slamming the heavy door behind her. "What are you skittish about?" She scolded herself, her hackles still raised for whatever reason. She was not superstitious as a rule, but perhaps the years of kidnappings was finally catching up with her and making her paranoid. Hating herself but unable to shake the creeping feeling, she pulled her robe tighter around her body and hurried to her private quarters. If she had bothered to look back she might have seen a shadow slither from the treasury room, and down the hall towards an open window.

 **Bowser's Castle (Again)**

The crown sat tiny on Bowser's massive palm. It looked more like a child's plaything than any type of weapon or artifact. How could this turn any battle? Why was the princess afraid someone would get it? There was only one way to find out. Similar to Peach, Bowser was afraid to test it on anyone, only out of fear they might become more powerful than himself, as opposed to ethical morality. Further mirroring Peach's actions earlier, Bowser slowly placed the crown on his own head. The effect was nearly instantaneous. Bowser's body was racked with pain so great he couldn't even gasp out, the exact changes happening to him were hidden by blinding light, forcing Shadow Guy to look away.

As the light faded away the biological alterations became stark obvious. His red mane had become flowing golden locks, his burning crimson eyes changed to cool dazzling azure. His dry scales had melted into perfect, pale and flawless skin. His flat, armored chest had become curvaceously full, his sides narrowed at his flat stomach, his stubby legs were long and toned now. Bowser had taken on the form of a peak female human. Some aspects of his monstrous nature would not be subdued, however, regardless of biology breaking magic. His proud horns remained, along with an altered, longer tail and a shell now greatly reduced in size. His spiked armbands had interestingly changed to fit his new size. Unfortunately those were the only stitches of clothing on his body. Rising shakily to his feet, Bowser took in his alterations with confusion and wonder. "What-" She started to say, shocked by the sound of her now feminine voice. "What the hell have you done to me?" Shadow Guy had wisely chosen to ninja-vanish from the castle for the moment.

"What kind of power is this?" Bowser asked herself.


	2. A Rogue's Welcome

**Bowser's Catsle. throne room**

The great dragon king- er, queen? Ahem. The great dragon _potentate_ sat upon her now oversized throne, with enough space to curl her extended tail around her hips comfortably without touching the sides of the chair. The armrests which had been within easy reach moments before could now barely be touched with bent arms, in fact she could probably sit on the arms themselves as easily as Junior had previously. "Junior." Bowser mused aloud, still unnerved by the silky feminine voice that had replaced his kingly rumble. "This is going to be awkward to explain to him, if I can't reverse this." The sudden reappearance of Kamek made her jump and cover her exposed body with her hands. Embarrassment at being nude was something she was going to have to adjust to, it seemed.

"I can't find anything about a crown right now, but I have several koopa pouring over books in the library-" Kamek paused. Where the lord of the Dark Lands normally sat was now a nude, blonde humanoid, awkwardly (and somewhat ineffectively) hiding her nakedness. "Well, I guess we know what the crown does now, huh? Maybe we should have tested-"

"Shut up!" Bowser yelled, though it had lost a lot of its former power. An angry blush bloomed on her pale cheeks. "I… Shut up. You're right but I don't need this right now. Sorry I snapped." Kamek nearly fainted out of the air. Lord Bowser never apologized! Nor was he- I mean she- really required to, but still a historic event. And admission of being wrong at that. A much stranger change than merely physical had occurred here. "Take this to wherever you and Kammy do magic things, and figure out how it works. I want a full report ASAP." She tossed the crown to Kamek, who fumbled, then handled it gingerly for multiple reasons.

"Don't you think we should take care of something else first?" Kamek gestured to Bowser's bare form.

"Ack!" Having momentarily forgotten, Bowser hastily covered herself up with her arms again. "Yeah let's do something about this first." Kamek teleported Bowser to his (I mean her) room to avoid any further awkward encounters, opting not to go along. Seeing Bowser as a naked human girl was making him uncomfortable. Instead he went to the laboratory he and Kammy shared to begin research. The koopa k- ah, koopa _queen_ , on the other hand, was starting to feel weirdly comfortable in her new body. She felt lighter, her movements were more fluid, she could sense the movement of air on her skin as she walked around the room. The less obvious change she slowly became aware of was her mental state. On some level she knew she would normally be raging now. Mad at being out of control, mad at Shadow Guy, and though she wouldn't have admitted it before- mad at herself. Instead she found herself rather calmly taking stock of all these new events, and pondering how to turn them to some advantage. Bowser had never enjoyed such a state of clear mindedness before.

"Ooh hoo hoo, you have Kamek flustered something fantastic!" Kammy cackled as she phased into Bowser's room. "He wouldn't even- Oh! I see. Well, let's get you some modesty then, shall we?" She summoned a measuring tape from her sleeve and began taking Bowser's sizes. "I could have told you what that crown was, but no one asked old Kammy Koopa. Nope. No siree."

"Consider yourself asked." Bowser replied dryly, tucking a sheet around her body while Kammy knitted dark clothing, seemingly spun from thin air. She wondered why Kammy had to take measurements or bother knitting if she could produce material from nothing, but that's how magic is. It operated on its own illogical rules.

"The crown is an old family heirloom that has existed as long as the toadstool royal family. Though it may in fact predate them, if such legends are even true. Its origins are a mystery so far as I know, though I wouldn't be surprised if there wasn't something about it stashed in the castle somewhere." She handed Bowser a couple dark items.

"What do I need this for?" Bowser asked in confusion, in regards to the bra.

"Trust me, you'll want this." Kammy replied, chinching the support garment tightly behind Bowser's back, causing her to gasp quietly.

"Anyway, the toads are a skittish people that don't care much for change. They've always been sheep if you ask me. And so a queen many generations ago used the crown to copy her beauty and her knowledge as a ruler, and passing the crown to her daughter she gained her mother's good looks and world knowledge, and so on and so forth. The daughter copies were similar, but never exact. Close enough to keep the toads happy, but maintaining their original personalities, albeit it-" She paused, looking at Bowser.

"What?"

"Well, aspects of the former princess was merged with their personalities. To keep things... streamlined." She handed off a strapless black dress that, when pulled on, came down to about mid-thigh on hBowser. Kammy fussed over her smoothing wrinkles and adjusting the dress around Bowser's 'assets.' Bowser suspected she was avoiding some bad news.

"Unfortunately…" Bowser prodded her.

"Unfortunately it was designed for Toadstools and humans. Not koopa. That's why the transformation only partially worked. As such I'm not sure if it can be reversed easily, if at all." She was now making herself busy styling some footwear out of leather and rubber.

"About that.." Bowser hesitated, feeling out the idea as it came to her. It was the most radical idea she had ever had. Of course the majority of her plans had involved kidnapping Peach, and being happy afterwards somehow. Bowser had never had deep plans or considered broad implications before today. "Maybe we shouldn't rush to change things just yet. Bowser is a loser with a long record of failures, a joke to other rulers. Is this what I'm leaving to Junior? A legacy of bad decisions and losses? He deserves then this. Better then… Me." It was Kammy's turn to nearly faint. Bowser's ego seemed to have taken a massive downgrade. "I could start over now. I could be someone better!" Bowser was speaking faster now as she warmed up to the idea. A train of thought that had bloomed up seemingly from nowhere, but once it had taken root she latched onto it eagerly. "I can remake myself, avoid old pratfalls, leave a proper legacy for my son. But first I have to kill myself."

"Beg pardon, Lord Bowser?" She finished the footwear, a thick-soled pair of leather boots that came up her calves. They were covered with silver spikes and buckle straps.

Bowser shook her head. "Not Bowser anymore. I have been given a new life, and a new mission. I need a new name. Call me... hmmmm. Bowsette." The koopa queen nodded to herself, satisfied. "Now we just have to decide how I'm going to kill myself."

"We could simply report your untimely demise..." Kammy began.

"No. This has to be grand. They have to know I really am gone. We need to play this out on a big stage, like Peach's front yard." Bowsette smiled evilly. "Prepare the troops. Ready a lot of airships. I want this to be huge."

Kammymade herself busy scribbling notes. "And are you positive this is truly the best course of action?" She and Bowsette had relocated to one of the Dark Land's few warp pipes. "Junior will be devastated."

"No more hurt then what I've done for him so far. I haven't just ruined my life, I've ruined his future. I'm doing this for him."

"And you won't just let me take you wherever?" Kammy sighed.

"I can't be seen with a high level Bowser associate this early in my career. I have to make a completely fresh entrance. And I have to make peace with this choice. For that I need some space." Bowsette took a look around her, her long blond lock swaying in the wind. "Things are going to be changing when I get back."

"So, Rogueport then?"

"It's as good a getaway place as any." Bowsette briefly grasped Kammy's hand. "Take care of Junior til I get back." With that she disappeared down the warp pipe.

"Actually I can think of plenty better getaway places." Kammy muttered to herself. She didn't look forward to telling Junior his Dad was 'dead.' What Bowsette didn't realize, or was simply too stubborn to realize, was it would be all the harder now to explain the situation in the future, when the day came.

There wasn't actually a warp all the way to Rogueport, but it did go to a ship port where she soon caught a ride. The captain, a pianta, wasn't thrilled to take her there, even with the promise of extra pay. "Lady, that isn't no nice place. Let me take you to sunny Isle Delfino or Banana Lagoon. I dunno what you're running from but those are places a pretty face like you could settle, find an easy job, make a new life for yourself."

"That's the idea." Bowsette said with a resigned smile. The captain just sighed, shaking his head to himself but giving up trying to change her mind.

"This is your funeral lady." The captain shrugged.

 **Mushroom Kingdom**

 **Rogueport Plaza docks**

Bowsette found herself forced to swim to the distant shore, as the fearful captain refused to even approach the splintered, decaying docks. Apparently Rogueport was even less charming than the stories she had heard, which was really saying something. Around these parts the "I visited Rogueport and Survived" T-shirts weren't just local tourist brick-brack. It was a souvenir of bragging rights. During the day the central area was _mostly_ safe, as long as you avoided the shady back alleyways, and shadier weirdos. But that was all during the daytime, and it was very late now. Or very early, depending on your lifestyle. And the docks were certainly not somewhere to be found in the dark. Cue Bowsette's welcoming party, a beady-eyed bob-omb, a koopa with a scar running over one eye, and a squeak' armed with a switchblade and a creepy smirk. Clearly what passed for leadership in this ragtag group.

"Nice night for a swim?" The koopa leered at her. "Looks a mite cold there though, foxy. Why don't you hand over ya valuables and then we can get ya out of those wet things before ya get sick." The other two chuckled at this bit of brilliance. Bowsette was suddenly very aware of three important things. One, she was in fact very chilly. Two, this was in fact very apparent to all concerned. And long, wet hair was just a mess to deal with. All these things rated low on the importance scale just now, however.

"Cretins." She replied scornfully. "To imagine the princess lets such a place continue to operate in this open depravity. Shameful really." It was evident these vultures got by mostly by being unchallenged. Taking from and hurting people with no defense training or weapons. Sadly for them, Bowsette was not just another lost tourist.

"Croutons? She's either trying to order a salad or insult us like, either way I'm pissed at this moll now." The koopa advanced 'menacingly.' It really was all Bowsette could do to keep a straight face. "No screaming now darlin'. Won't nobody come to help ya." But she wasn't taking a breath to scream, rather she blew a gust of fire at the trio.

"Aya you crazy lady?" The squeak asked in a panic and tried to run for cover. Bowsette kicked the koopa at the squeak, knocking it to the ground, stunned. The koopa rebounded off a storage crate back to her stopping beneath her boot.

"Yeah, okay. This is a little crazy. Maybe. But I'm going through some really crazy stuff right now. I just need to get things clear in my head before I start making some big decisions, you know?" She snatched up the bob-omb and stuffed him into the cramped shell-space with the koopa, then launched them both over her shoulder, the pair exploding over the water behind her.

Picking up the squeak's blade as she walked over to it, she stomped her big boot down on it savagely. The squeak, realizing with some relief that she had missed ending its life, attempted to run away only to discover Bowsette was standing on its tail. In its panic the squeak considered chewing off its tail, but it was too paralyzed with fear. How had a routine mugging gone so horrible so fast? "I wonder if a pair of mows fur gloves would warm me up after my chilly swim." She twirled the blade in her fingers.

"H-h-h-hey." The squeak sputtered. "Before you kill me you should know you've made an enemy of the boss now! Ya time can now be counted on one hand, AFTER the boss starts cutting ya fingers off!"

"Violence? in Rogueport! Who would have thought." Bowsette stifled an actual yawn. "Do you actually have a boss? This seems like a pretty run-of-the-mill street gutter outfit. Though admittedly my experiences are with higher classes of villainy."

"Man you really did just fall off the boat! Boss Ishnail runs this dock. He's been pushing on the Westside for a while now, and with the change in management he's gonna make his big move soon, so don't think there's anywhere you can hide here when he's hears about this."

"And I suppose your little antics tonight are a indicator of his character? That doesn't work for my plans unfortunately."

"What are you- whoa whoa whooooaaa!" He started wailing as she picked him up by his tail, and spun him like he was a yo-yo on a string.

"I'm sure your boss and I will meet soon enough." She told him, though how much of that he actually heard was questionable. With a flick of her wrist she tossed the squeak far and away into the shadows. her other hand folded the blade and slipped it into her boot. She could feel others watching her, and though she was confident she could handle whatever, she was ready for a shower now and bed, and showing any signs of defensiveness would be to show weakness.

 **Podley's Place**

Podley's Place was surprisingly nice for a dive. Even the odd mystery stain here and there added to the rustic charm giving the place an overall 'comfy lived-in' atmosphere. The sort of place that would be big with tourists if it wasn't in a place like Rogueport. Behind the counter wiping out soda mugs was an old, beanish fellow, presumably the titular "Podley." He was bald, wrinkled, and liver-spotted. He also sported a dirty blond mustache heavy enough to give an Italian plumber a bad case of envy.

"Serve you, young lady? We got cold Chuckola on tap, though if I may risk losing a pretty customer such as yourself- if you're searching up soda this time of the night you may have a problem."

"I do have a problem, though not with drinking." Bowsette saddled up to the bar. "I'm in town a few days and forgot to make reservations. You have a room for a damsel in distress?" She grinned in what she hoped was a disarming fashion, and idly spun a gold coin on the bar for effect.

"I wouldn't be much of an innkeeper if I didn't have a room for a pretty lady in need, in fact let me lighten your burden of a few of those coins while you're here."

"And here I thought chivalry was dead in Rogueport." Bowsette slapped two more coins on the bar. Podley in turn waved his hand over the currency twice, making it disappear on the second pass. A neat parlor trick. Bartenders that entertained tended to pull down better tips, and Podley here probably knew a hundred jokes and tricks like that.

"Any chance you could have some fresh clothes sent to my room? I lost my luggage on the way." In reality she hadn't packed anything. In retrospect this trip could have sat in the planning stage just a bit more, but hindsight and all that.

"I'll call Plenn T. He won't like being woke up though. Probably require a little something extra." Another coin was produced, along with her written measurements. This time Podley walked it across his knuckles before it disappeared. When he opened his fist he was holding a room key. He was good, alright. Might even possess a bit of real magic, whether he realized it or not.

"I may have some business to conduct before I leave town." She said casually as Podley started wiping down the shiny counter. "I accidentally ran afoul of the Eastside Board of tourism tonight."

"I'd advise not to keep such company, but... if you have no better choice check out Westside Goods. They usually have what you are looking for. Ask Peeka for the days specials."

"Thanks. Think I'll head up now, suddenly feeling the hour." Upstairs Bowsette was somewhat amazed at the size of the room, humans could live happily inn such tiny, confined spaces! And the bed seemed so small to her that it looked like something you bought for your pet to sleep on, though when she stripped out of her damp outfit and crawled into it she found it was the perfect size. Apparently her perceptions had not yet caught up to her reality dimensions. Finally alone with her thoughts, she realized just how different she had become, aside from the merely physical aspects. She was speaking more eloquently, obtaining information without threats, and just generally enjoying a smoother thought process. It was with these things playing in her mind that sleep suddenly found her, and took her for the remainder of the night


	3. The King is Dead

**The next morning, Peach's personal quarters**

Sunlight filtered through high castle windows, illuminating Peach's simply decorated pink bedroom. Grandma the chambermaid was surprised to see the princess still asleep, with the sun this high in the morning. "Princess?" She said quietly, as she stepped into the room.

"Nnngh." Peach replied, making no move to get out of the bed. The chambermaid waited a moment, but when Peach opted not to elaborate on her previous comment Grandma dared to venture all the way to the bedside. Peach had a flushed face, her forehead was hot and sweaty to the touch and she was shivering despite the temperature of the room. "Head hurts." She mumbled, coming at least part of the way awake. Her eyelids fluttered but did not open.

Grandma pulled out her pocket communicator that linked all the castle staff together, calling one of the undermaids. "We have a code eleven. Bring to the princess's quarters a cold cloth, some Megavitamins, and a bottle of Banana Juice." She carefully adjusted the blankets around Peach's body.

"Aye boss, on my way." The undermaid chirped on the dual-screen device. Grandma wasn't too worried, all things considered. The princess had been under some degree of stress lately and had probably just overdone it. Unfortunately bad news loves company, and it was at this time that the castle warning sirens went off, indicating something bad was happening.

"Bowser." Peach feverishly murmured as the boss chambermaid frowned.

 **Mario and Luigi's house**

Luigi was swinging his tennis racket back and forth, warming up for some light game play, in anticipation of the fast approaching carnival season. It was a time period marked for competitive sports, racing and game playing in general. It only came once a year and everyone was encouraged to take time off, relax and generally foster comradery with their fellow citizens. Or short of that, settle scores in 'non-violent' sporting competitions. The younger of the two Mario brothers may not have been as well-known for heroics as his famous sibling, but he was an absolute demon at certain sports. Most _especially_ at tennis. It was with some dismay that he received the kingdom-wide email alert on his communicator. 'Mama mia! What a time for this!' Luigi told himself.

It seemed Bowser was up to his old tricks yet again, and Mario was dealing with some trouble far away in Sarasaland. No one had expected Bowser to mak a move this soon after his last failure. He usually took a break for several months, and formulated some new plan or crashed a sports tournament or a party or whatever. There was a rhythm to these things is what I'm saying. Almost a dance, with well practiced steps. Better suited to this dance or not, preferable poll approved hero or not, Luigi was a knight of the kingdom and was honor bound to answer the call. "Here we go." He told himself, pulling down his green cap resolutely.

The Mushroom Kingdom army (largely consisting of toads) took their dutiful place in front of the castle, most of them armed with spears to compensate for the height difference and tiny arms, others manned the Bill Blaster cannons. Secret bunkers installed underground opened their hatches and prepared to launch Bullet Biff missiles at the incoming airship armada. In the distance could be seen the steady march of legions of Dry Bones. An army that didn't fear dying, needed no rest or supplies, and were very hard to put down.

' _This isn't just a simple kidnapping_ ' Luigi realized. ' _This is a full on invasion from the Dark Land_ '. The Dry Bones foot soldiers would be immune to fire attacks and spears. Jump attacks and hammers would only slow them down. ' _If only I had a Super Star_ ' but those were increasingly rare these days. Regardless of this Luigi took his place at the head of the line, armed only with his fists and a strong sense of duty. No one, however, was prepared for what was about to happen.

"Fire!" Luigi yelled to the Bill Blaster cannon operators. Entire columns of Dry Bones were shattered apart, but left many more intact. Even some of the broken soldiers would soon reconstitute themselves. Preparing to give the charge order, he was preempted by an explosion that rocked the sky above the two armies, a ball of fire ripped through the side of Bowser's flag airship. Luigi thought someone had fired upon the ship early, but quickly realized the damage had come from _inside_. Something was wrong and the ship was now self-destructing.

The Dry Bones continued to march mindlessly forward, seemingly unaware of what was happening above them. The majority were crushed to dust by the flaming wreckage raining down from the sky. Luigi quickly reorganized his crew into a firefighting troop, re-arming everyone with Fluud packs. The fire itself raged for hours but was prevented from spreading, and eventually extinguished without major incident. The remaining Dry Bones were easily apprehended and sent to the dungeon until the princess decided what to do with them. The biggest surprise was still to come however, lying blackened and broken in the ashes of his former flagship were the skeletal remains of King Bowser.

 **Peach's personal quarters**

"Dead? Are you quite positive?" Princess Peach was sitting up in bed now and eating a bowl of Spicy Soup. Her headache was gone but she still felt a bit flush, though that may have been the soup. It was quite spicy. "He's been dropped in lava before and survived falling pretty far. Hard to imagine this did him in for good."

Luigi just shrugged. "It looks like his skull and its rather big to be any other koopa we know."

"Doesn't he have a younger brother or something?" Peach replied after another big slurp of soup. "There will have to be an investigation. If it _is_ him then there could be backlash from the Dark Lands, even if his death was not our fault, by your own account. Don't let anyone contaminate the scene. I'll call in an investigator."

"Ummmm" He shuffled his feet uncomfortably.

"They've already contaminated the scene, haven't they?"

"Selfies with the skull." Luigi confirmed.

"Can you see to it that no one else messes with the scene?"

"Yes Princess." Luigi bowed and left the room awkwardly, nearly tripping over his own shoes in the process. The princess didn't notice. She obviously had other things on her mind.

High above all of this, aboard the Cheep Blimp, rode the part-time detective turned full-time detective, Pennington the Bumpty. He was not particularly happy about the arrangement as it was. He would rather have traveled by the Perplex Express. _That_ was a ride for a real detective! Plus no mysteries ever occurred on an airship, did they? Not like on a train. Ironically, Pennington had been hired to investigate an airship mystery, but this irony was lost on him. At least he could charge it as a business expense. Rides on the Cheep were not cheap.

The blimp landed nearly silently near Peach's Castle and Pennington disembarked to be greeted by a representative of the kingdom he was previously familiar with.

"Ah Mario, so we meet again at yet another mystery. Our kind is simply called to danger and mystique are we not, my dear boy?"

"Act-u-ally I'm Luigi-" He tried to not sound miffed, and failed spectacularly.

"Quite quite." Pennington nodded along. "You're deep undercover for this case. I understand, my boy. Worry not, its a fantastic costume! But I have the eye of a detective and cannot be so easily fooled. You won't mind if I bear my own name? I'm sure I couldn't hide my presence even if I so desired."

"Uh, okay…"

"Now now Mario, we'll compare adventures another time. For now take me to the scene of the crime post haste, sir!"

"This way." Luigi gestured towards the massive area of blacked earth and ship debris.

"This way!" Pennington echoed. "Yes of course. Just as I suspected. The clues are all coming together now." He pulled a huge magnifying glass from his shoulder bag.

"So uh, we were in the middle of an invasion when it just- blew up. We never even got the chance to fire on it." Luigi explained, not totally convinced this was the detective that was supposed to show up.

"Yes yes. Rudimentary." He mumbled to himself, picking up and examining a burnt shard of something. "The only question is why."

"Why?" Luigi lifted his cap to scratch his sweaty hair. "Why what?"

"Why did he kill himself, of course! Its rudimentary! Why else would he be carrying unstable red bob-oms instead of the safer black variety?"

"Uh huh." Luigi was relieved when his communicator beeped, taking his attention to something less confusing.

"I know it's too soon, but does he have any thoughts on what happened?" Peach texted him. Whatever she was sick with had had hit her again, even harder, as she was too tired to call. Her illness was also affecting her patience apparently."Just a crazy suicide theory." Luigi texted back with a thinking emoji.

"Well it is a high profile case. It's bound to attract sensationalism." Peach texted back. "We can't rule anything out but suicide doesn't really fit Bowser. Keep me posted." The next message was from Mario checking in. Boy did he have some catching up to do!

 **Dark Lands, Bowser's Castle**

"A day of mourning and rememberence shall commence tomorrow." Kammy declared. She was the acting ruler until Junior came of age. The mood in the castle was extremely somber. Even the dry bones shed a little dust when the news of Bowser's passing came. Mushroom Kingdom officials were supposedly collecting and respectfully packing up Bowser's remains for transport. The koopa kids had been notified, and were traveling to the castle for the funeral, which Kammy was also in charge of planning. The hardest thing was explaining it to Junior. She wanted so bad to tell him the truth, but Bowsette had decided her son was too small to keep such a big secret.

"How? Why? Who killed him?" Junior asked through the tears.

"I'm sorry sweetie. Sometimes bad things just happen to good people." Kammy replied, hating herself for the cliche, but hating herself more for the lie. This was not something she would forgive Bowsette for, even if she did have the best of intentions at heart.


	4. The People's Princess

**Rogueport, Westside**

Bowsette was back home at Castle Toadstool, her whirlwind adventures over. The structure had stood for generations as a symbol of peace and security, and hope. She smoothed her frilly pink dress and straightened the Super Crown on her head. Sharp black talons tore through her white gloves as she pulled them on. 'Oh my goodness. My nails are becoming most unsightly."

A shadow from nowhere overtakes the bright sunny day, casting her bedroom into sudden, chilly darkness, and she heard the sound of claws raking on her door. Something about this situation was at once terrifyingly alien, and unsettlingly familiar. Her feet moved against her will towards the nightmare sounds outside the door, and she watched her ruined glove hand turn the knob slowly. The door was ripped up in front of her, revealing empty shadow, and from this darkness came a dark hand that wrapped around her throat, its fingers digging in, slowly crushing. Suffocating...

When Bowsette awoke, she wasn't immediately sure if she was still in the dream, or if she had died, or what. Everything was still dark, and the pressure was still tight around her neck. She knew she was alive when someone punched her rudely in the face. She had been hit before of course, with fists and hammers and fireballs, but this was different. It hurt a lot more. It also pissed her off a lot more. The black hood was ripped away, revealing her grubby surroundings. Judging by the dirty walls and the smell of rot, she was being held in some kind of over-sized storage facility. In reality, it was the dilapidated headquarters of the Robo Gang, but for all practical purposes Bowsette wasn't entirely wrong in her assumption.

Before her was her assaulter, a bird-like craw. The bandit stepped back with a look of contempt on its face, and leveled a spear at her throat. She thought of some creative things to do with that spear, but her arms were fastened tight together behind her back with chains. Her jaw ached from her rude awakening... and she was naked. "Not the wake up call I requested." Bowsette spat some blood on the filthy floor.

"That's how we greet people around here. I call it the Rogueport Hello." Ishnail the boss stepped into her view. He cracked his knuckles for emphasis, an impressive feat for a snail. "Speaking of which, a couple of my boys greeted you last night, and they haven't returned. Mick Mows tells me you weren't friendly with my him. Now that's bad enough, but here we go to the trouble of taking your ass, and you don't even have any good loot on ya." Bowsette took note there was about six gang members crammed into the room. She assumed there were probably twice that to keep the grip on Rogueport.

"So here's what we're gonna do. You can be a good girl and walk the port a couple nights, bring Daddy Ishnail some gold, and we'll let you go peaceful like." Some of the gang chuckled at that. "Or," Ishnail continued, "we can pack your sweet ass into a crate and drop you in the big drink."

"This is not going to end well for you." Bowsette rasped, blood in her teeth. She thought about cooking some snail but the chain was still looped harshly around her throat and she could barely speak.

"Hmph. That's a pity. You're a cute piece. Or _were._ Crate this bitch."

Bowsette struggled against her bounds, as she was forced into a wooden box which, being far from airtight was quickly flooded with the cold water. This was a difficult enough situation even if she wasn't still locked in chains. She immediately braced her shell to the side and kicked out against the other wall, as they were bound together but not to her wrists. That might have made escape completely impossible. Quickly, she gasped one last breath as her head slipped beneath the dark water. In her human form she had noticed she was more susceptible to sensations, especially painful ones and much of her strength had been stripped away. Still, she was stronger than the average human or inhuman creature of her size, which she discovered as the crate slowly gave way to her desperate pushing. She made a mental note to test her limits in a more controlled setting at a future date.

Wrists and legs still bound by chains, she was actually glad to have a smaller body. Her old form would have sunk like a rock, not that she was floating exactly. With her breath beginning to burn in her chest she struggled to find a way to the surface, or some form of rescue. Her salvation came in the form of a dirty runoff pipe protruding from beneath the village foundation bank. Using her saurian tail, she managed to swim (or, perhaps more accurately, flail) her way to the tube. The dark, slimy interior seemed to go on forever, though in reality it couldn't have been more than a few moments. She was about to gasp a desperate and fatal breath when her head broke the surface of the dirty water. Later on the rank smell would assault her senses, but for the moment she gladly accepted the provided air.

Bowsette struggled her way out of the tube and onto the damp concrete, bound in chains, dirty, naked, and extremely pissed off. Since her hands were bound in front of her, she could melt them with her fire breath, given enough time. Her leg chains would be more awkward to deal with, but the worst was over. She was going to live. As she super-heated the chains she began to formulate her revenge. Sure, she had always intended to conquer Rogueport as a practice run, but Ishnail had made it delightfully personal.

 **Dark Lands, Bowser's Castle**

Bowser Junior and Jr Troopa were hanging out in Junior's room during all this. Jr Troopa was a hellion brat even by the Dark Land standards. A whiny, snotty little bully with a major superiority complex. No one could stand being around him except Junior, and being the boys only friend, the other members of the castle were putting up with him, for Junior's sake.

"Do you wanna play a game?" Jr Troopa asked.

"No..." Junior replied.

"Wanna prank your lame sister?"

"Nah."

"Ugh! This is boring and lame and you don't want to do anything." Jr Troopa whined staring up at the ceiling. Suddenly he perked up. "Hey, let's go get that lame-o Mario loser."

"Huh?" Junior looked vaguely interested in more than the far wall, for a moment.

"Didn't that guy, you know, kill your dad or whatever? So let's go make him pay. You're a genius and I'm awesome. Between the two of us we can mess up his stupid mustache face!"

"That makes sense. How else would dads ship have exploded?" Junior wiped a tear in his eye, seemingly thinking it over. "Yeah, that's what pops would do! Let's go down to the weapons room. There's all kinds of fun things down there. I'll make pops proud of me."

"Whatever gets us out of this booooooring room." Jr Troopa agreed.

Down in the weapons room Junior began drawing up a plan, while Jr Troopa grabbed (or at least located) the items as Bowser Jr called them out.

"Monty Tank, Pop's hammer, grab the Smithy parts… maybe... oh, we need Chain Chomps, Goomba Boots…."

"Goomba Boots?" Jr Troopa asked. "It should fly, that wouldn't be lame."

Jr Troopa didn't understand what Junior was planning. Mario had tormented his dad for years, but now he had gone too far. It was time he got a taste of his own medicine. In the secrecy of the weapon room Junior began to construct his instrument of revenge.

 **Rogueport Plaza**

The walk back to Podley's could have been more awkward, in theory anyway. Bowsette's hair was a mess, she had a sheet tied around her body in a half-assed attempt at a dress, she smelled like a sewer and she was barefoot. She needed a shower, another set of clothes and some time to plan. She could go back to the hideout and stomp Ishnail and his goons into colorful paste, however she wanted to make his fall bigger. A public display of her strength and a message to the rival Pianta Syndicate.

After a long and very hot shower she returned to her room to find a new black dress waiting for her. The timing was coincidental and Podley had been absent when she got back, yet she suspected he knew everything that had happened and had arranged dry cleaning pick-up. That and the new pair of sneakers that she had not ordered. She would have to leave him a _very_ nice tip before she left town.

No sooner had she left her room when her stomach gave a growl in the most unlady-like fashion possible. "I hope that place he told me about has something to eat." She grumbled. Normally at this time she, as the former Bowser, would wake up to a breakfast large enough to keep several large farms in business. This thought was followed by a surprising feeling of loneliness. It was quiet without all the minions tripping over themselves to appease him- er, her. And that thought led to thoughts of Junior, who she had only seen yesterday, but she already missed him. Now she was feeling melancholy as well as hungry and grumpy.

Westside Goods was like a well-kept thrift store. Neat and tidy, but with a very eclectic mishmash of imported goods. Unfortunately there wasn't much to eat, unless you were hungry for dried mushrooms like a weirdo. Not that I'm judging.

A hand-written posted sign advertised daily fresh Whacka Bumps. She had no clue what a 'Whacka Bump' was and at any rate they seemed to have sold out. She finally settled on the juicy-looking Keel Mango. Not really what she was craving, but it would serve. For now.

"Welcome to Westside Goods, the nicest tourist dive in all of Rogueport." A bluish boo (blooish?) wearing white rabbit ears and a pink bow-tie greeted Bowsette. "Don't tell old Mr. Podley I said that," she added with a smirk, "Though something tells me you aren't looking here for souvenirs."

"Breakfast first. Playing tourist later." Bowsette agreed, another rumble in her stomach confirming her priorities. "How much for the fruit?"

"For you, hon? Three coins. A full coin less than the Toad Bros Bazaar." She smirked again. Bowsette could guess there was some history of rivalry between the two establishments, but didn't really care enough to ask.

"Awfully generous of you." Bowsette replied, dropping enough currency for two Keel Mangos into Peeka's... Boo-flap-hand-thing. "Actually, I might take a few things off your hands." She said, looking over the seemingly random assortment of items. Mushrooms… she was tall enough. Fire Flowers… she could breathe fire. Sleepy Sheep… that could be useful. The Bowser mask got a chuckle out of her. Then she saw it. A Thunderbolt. "I'll take all these, and another one of those mangos."

Peeka moved to the register happily before the tourist could change her mind. This was the most business the store had seen all week! In several weeks actually. Though it was nothing compared to the flurry of activity about to happen in town.

 **Crash!** The door to the Eastside hideout was knocked off its hinges an unconscious bandit laid out on top of it. Before anyone could react to this turn of events a volley of sheep dolls were tossed in. The effect was immediate and effective, with the closest henchmen dropping unconscious like flies. Ishnail jumped through the window, sending glass flying, the few henchmen not affected quickly following suit. "Them damned Piantas did it now. They're dead, and this town with it!" But it wasn't the Pianta Syndicate waiting in the center of town like a gunslinger. "You? My gang must be slippin' if they can't even kill a dirty rail like you." He growled at Bowsette, and motioned for his gang to attack. That was when she used her second item.

Donning a magic mask designed like her former face was surreal to say the least. The effect however, was immediate and delightful. The intimidation magic was strong, and the lesser goons ran back the way they came in a blind panic, just in time for the bombs Bowsette has set to go off, leveling the Eastside. An extreme measure, to be sure, but also very cinematic. That part of town was a hole anyway, nothing of value was lost. Best of all it brought the townspeople out. She had the stage, the audience and the script. Now it was just a matter of ending act three. There would need to be an act four, however that would play out behind curtains, to overly push a metaphor. His hideout was in rubble, his closest goons were gone and his power was slipping away.

Somehow he still managed to hold onto his annoying ego. "Who the hell are you, anyway and why couldn't ya leave Rogueport alone?" That's what it sounded like anyway. Her ears were still ringing a bit from the explosion. She may have overdone it with the bombs _just_ a touch.

"My name is Bowsette, the people's princess. A traveling hero and defender of the innocent." She conjured up a charming smile for her audience. "How could I leave a place so full of potential with a disease like you?" Snarling at the insult, Ishnail used his trump card pulling out a Banana Gun. Unfortunately Bowsette's secret weapon was better. Pulling her last item from behind her back, the bolt of electricity shot from her hand with a boom of ripping air, hitting the snail full force, blasting him into the rubble that was the Eastside. The final defeat was still to come though. It was the mounting sound of people clapping behind her.


	5. Onward and Upward

**Rogueport Plaza**

"Ishnail the former terror of Rogueport was unconscious and twitching, the remains of Eastside where smoldering, and behind her the applause was becoming more enthused. Things had gone spectacularly, for a mostly improvised plan. Now all she had to do was capitalize on this success. A tap on the shoulder brought her back from her thoughts.

"Pardon my interruption. Hate to be a bother but, if I may, could I inquire as to why you destroyed my house?" The speaker wore a long blue rope, their eyes glowed from under the deep hood. A positively amazing bushy mustache that hung halfway to the cobblestones. "I… foresaw great change coming, but the spirits are persnickety of late. Probably vague on purpose you know, but is not the path of life one of vagueness?"

"Oh. I… I'm sorry about..." Bowsette was taken off guard.

"Yet even so we seek out the truth, for this is the condition by which all must purpose themselves. Seeking but rarely finding, looking but not seeing! Witnessing without belief!" He continued as if he hadn't talked over her. Pity about the professor's house though. Lots of brilliant ramblings lost. But if we may circle back to the original question, regardless of the answer, for I am a ever a student of life!"

"That was a lot to take in with the events thusly. It had been a very interesting seven or so hours, and apparently it wasn't over yet. "I apologize about your home. I've been improvising a lot lately. It's still new for me." Bowsette replied somewhat in confusion.

"Not having such a good go at it, eh? Not that you asked for a critique, yet critique we do, whenever we experience the world with our senses, wouldn't you say? Or wouldn't you? I'm curious. My name is Merlon by the way… I'm a wizard you know."

"Bowsette didn't begin to know how to reply to that. Half her mind was trying to sort out that stream of consciousness ramble. The other half was weighing the cost of saving face here after inadvertently wreaking a wizards house. Tangling with magic users was bad more often than not. "About your house, I can pay to have it rebuilt..."

"Houseboat!" Merlon nodded as if suddenly remembering something. "Bobbery the old salt. Got himself a houseboat. Probably hoping some storm or sea beast will make it sink and him with it." He nodded again. "Er, about this one though." He nudged Ishnail with his shoe. "Curious about this business you know. Not that I'm complaining. Bad egg sort, you know? Could have happened to someone nicer I'd say."

"Um, so about your house…" Bowsette tried again.

"Merlon you raggedy old soothsayer, are you going to talk this one deaf? Peeka interjected. "She offered to pay for your house. Besides, losing some property is a small price to pay for the peace we can have now." The blue Boo wrapped her ghostly hands around Bowsette's arm, and tugged her away from the crowded scene and the babbling wizard. "Besides, there's people who's need to see you is much more pressing." Bowsette was aware of eyes watching her from the shadows and even the rooftops as she was led through the plaza to the Westside for the second time today.

 **Rogueport, Westside**

Boss Frankie Pianta's office was plush and air conditioned to a chilly degree, featuring portraits of various island locations- Blooper Bay, Lavalava Island. Sherbert Island, Sunset Beach and others Bowsette didn't immediately recognize. Maybe he missed the island life. Maybe he just liked collecting pictures. Frankie himself was your typical stocky Pianta, dressed in a white suit jacket, tie and sunglasses that somehow didn't clash with the traditional leaf skirt. His two bodyguards were dressed similar but in black jackets.

"Ah good day miss. Don Frankie, pleased to meet you." His handshake was surprisingly gentle for his large hands. "Welcome to my humble port town. I apologize for any... inconveniences... you suffered from those dirty street vermin."

"I'm a pretty capable girl, so I handled it." Bowsette replied as she took a seat across from the desk. "I had actually hoped to get more of an understanding on the situation, maybe meet with your organization and come to an understanding first but…." Bowsette waggled her hand in the air. "Things happened."

"S'posin' that is true, what concern is that of you? Iffin' you don't mind me asking. You some type of wandering hero or some such?"

"Yes and no... ish? I'm building a reputation, collecting pieces of the big pie, and if I can make people happy in the process- why not?" Bowsette smiled.

"Ha! You' here ta' take over my place? You can have it." Frankie sounded serious. Bowsette thought again about the pictures lining his walls. Mayber her initial impressions weren't so off the mark. "Lotta stress. Little pay off."

"You misunderstand, Frankie. I'm taking the whole pie. From here to Toad Turnpike. From Star Road to the Underground Grrrols and everything in-between. But I don't see any need to micromanage every hamlet and region and sub-kingdom. You and your organization can keep this place in shape, and I won't interfere in your business. In fact, I could help expand your horizons with my connections."

Boss Frankie leaned back in his chair, weighing her words. "You have my attention Ms, er-"

"Princess Bowsette." She smiled. "First we need to establish a stabilizing agent. A figure for people to get behind, and I assume you prefer to work under the curtain when possible."

"You would assume correctly. Might I take it you won't be staying in our friendly town?"

"Settling down doesn't fit the wandering hero image. Plus as I said, I have bigger pieces of pie to go after. Lets install a mayor, someone respectable that will play ball with you. I'd suggest Podley but I don't know all the locals." Bowsette replied.

"Or, Admiral Bobbery. He has a good standing in th' community. Might haffta play him a little light, then move in Podley next election." Frankie was warming to the idea.

"I'll leave the finer details to your capable hands. Now about the damages, apparently I destroyed a wizards house."

"Eh." Frankie waved it off. "We'll take care of the rebuilding, and maybe in return you can give us a leg in Shuffle City. Lean on Game Guy's trade." He smiled at the thought. Bowsette hoped for his sake Game Guy wasn't as ruthless as the snail had been. She didn't even know where Shuffle City landed on the map. At least it wasn't Wario City or Twilight City. Those were near the end of the spectrum in her rough timeline of takeover events. "How should we contact you on ya travels?"

"I'm between devices actually-" Frankie raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "I've been submerged in water twice and stripped of most of my possessions." She replied uncharacteristically defensive. Frankie snapped his fingers, and one of the bodyguards produced a communicator like a magic trick.

"Consider this a token of our appreciation." Frankie handed it to her. "I'm look'n forward to our future business." The meeting was over by unspoken agreement, and Bowsette made her exit. "You got her?" He asked his other bodyguard once she was gone.

"Check that, boss." He replied, handing over another communicator. A red dot representing the device move along a digital map of Rogueport.

"Good. Cause that dame is made 'uh crazy. I want some warning before she comes back this way."

"Think she'll do all that what she said?" The bodyguard asked

"Yeah." frankie said after a beat. "The crazy ones are capable of anything."

 **Rogueport Train Station**

"Excuse me. Hello, yes you there, the one with the hair. Ms Explosion." The wizard Merlon called from behind her, getting an annoyed sigh from Bowsette. She had been hoping to slip away quietly from town. She wanted to make a big impression, but didn't want to answer a lot of curious questions about her history. It was going to be an awkward balancing act, and now she had something to throw her off.

"Might I have a moment of your time, or ten as the Excess Express is consistently late, or such as I have observed. I often sit and watch you know, ever a student of life. The spirits just a few ticks ago became very chatty. Quite conversational I must say, and say I must. They are very insistent that you are to ride but to fly." Merlon continued relentlessly. Bowsette wondered how he could talk so much without pausing for breath.

"Spirits? What spirits?"

"Oh, you know, spirits." Merlon gestured vaguely. "The sort you consult for this and that. Mostly that. Or rather that wizardly types consult. Psychics and such. Can't imagine it's too many common folk or it wouldn't be that novel!"

"Oh." Bowsette replied, becoming curious in spite of herself. "And I care about your spirits opinion why?"

"Because the spirits know all! Mostly- generally- on numerous occasions… They knooooooow! That's the important thing, and to ignore the sage advice of a wizard is to invite trouble into your lap. The next leg of your journey is not outward, but UPWARD!" The wizard threw his arms out over his head dramatically.

"Talk sense old man. I've had a rough…" She checked the communicator. "Twelve hours. Spill what you know and step off."

"Firstly, you must travel to Glitzville! There you will meet a wandering master. And second, we must travel together! My destiny has become intertwined with yours and henceforth we will-"

"Not gonna happen." Bowsette cut him off, turning back to face the rails.

"You must! You owe me for my house. Plus you're the most interesting person to come through here in ages. Your aura positively radiates with potential. I have to see what adventures you embark on. Also, ahem, future seeing wizard? Imagine the possibilities! I say imagine, because I can actually see them! With my wizardly powers!"

"Bowsette sighed outwardly. In her mind however, having a traveling companion might not be so bad. Especially if he really can tell the future. "Go pack or something. I need to make a call."

"A wizard collects only knowledge, and carries only wisdom. Also you blew up all my stuff if you could remember." Merlon replied, sounding a little peeved for the first time. "However I understand the need for privacy and shall grant you the space you require."

"Right. Sorry, again." Bowsette mumbled fiddling with the device Frankie had given her, trying to remember the Dark Lands area code. These last twelve hours had been the longest of her life and she needed a friendly face. Bowsette paused before she pushed the call button. Was she longing for the comfort of friends? Was she homesick? What was this crown doing to her? Shaking away these thoughts, she connected to whatever device Kammy used.


	6. Aftermath

And so Bowsette and Merlon traveled into the grand blue, destined for the glamorous and bombastic Glitzville, where they met appropriately colorful characters, and interesting situations, but let us pull away for a moment, if we may. For this story is not just about Bowsette. It is a story about a game _between_ princesses, so let's spend some time with the other characters, some of which _are_ princesses.

 **Mushroom Kingdom, Peach's Castle**

The Megavitamins had helped _somewhat_. The fever had broken and Peach could get out of bed, but she still felt very weak. Like something had been drained from her. Her head also felt strange. It didn't hurt, however her thoughts were fogged, like having the flu. Toad Doctor had examined her and ruled out any diseases, much to his relief. With all the Star Carnival coming soon the last thing anyone needed was an outbreak of Bean Fever or The Blorbs.

"Thank you for coming so quickly, and having a 'butchers at our princess, Doctor Toad. Hope we didn't put you in a crum-a-grackle with this!" Toadsworth, Peach's elderly aid said worriedly. "She hasn't been this dauncy in my memory."

"Please, my father was Doctor Toad. Call me _Toad Doctor_. That's what everyone in the village does." The good physician shook Toadsworth's hand. "I think she's just suffering exhaustion, but I'm going to hang around 'til I know better or she clears up. Recommend any good lodgings?"

"Pshaw old boy. We'll grant you a room, it's the least we could do, maybe I'll come by later with a nipperkin of something stout, wot wot?"

"And here I thought I would be the one prescribing strong medicine." Toad Doctor and Toadsworth shared a chuckle. After showing him to a room, Toadsworth silently returned to the throne room to wait on Peach.

 **Throne Room**

The diplomat party from the Dark Land consisted of Kamek, Roy Koopa and a contingent of miscellaneous koopa and goomba. Despite her slow recovery she had insisted on meeting them personally. A weak ruler reflected badly on their kingdom, and with the craziness lately weakness was the last thing she wanted to show. Bowser had died, there were vague reports coming in from Rogueport, it was nearly the season of carnival, and now this nearsighted koopa was getting uppity with her.

"...And every bone will be counted, so they better all be there!" Kamek snarked. Too Peach it seemed like Roy was supposed to be the diplomat, but he quietly stood behind the snappy turtle looking awkward and out of place. She should have felt sorry for him, with the loss of his… dad? Instead she just felt an unaccustomed irritation at the accusatory tone being thrown in her face.

"Kamek I assure you the remains are intact. Whatever would my people want with his bones?" Peach tried not to sound exhausted by the conversation.

"I choose not to dwell on your kingdom's perversities. I just want all of his glorious portions, that we may lay his majesty to rest. Unless you want an angry, restless spirit on your hands."

"Toadsworth will escort you to the holding room. You can take your time confirming the complete remains. Please take them and go." Something in her tone seemed to put Kamek off. He nodded understanding, and his troupe quietly followed Toadsworth into the castle depths. On the way down the passed the secret/not secret/forgotten laboratory of Professor Gadd. The eccentric researcher was chatting with Luigi via communicator, hoping to talk him into a new paranormal exploration adventure, and not making much progress. The professor's words coming more clear than usual through the communicator.

[ _"I understand you're in a situation with your brother away, but I strongly feel this ghostly phenomena calls for investigation. All indications show an increase of boo and other paranormal activity. It's very exciting!"_ ]

"I'm sorry, Professor. I can't leave the kingdom right now. Princess's orders. And I have to work on my tennis playing for the tournament, you know?" At the mention of tennis Polterpup stopped sniffing around Luigi's shoes to swallow his racket, before disappearing into another room. The former plumber wondered how long he could keep making admittedly and increasingly lame excuses to Gadd. "Captain Toad would be interested in an adventure…" He began.

[ _"Oh I couldn't bother the good captain. Besides, you're a seasoned professional when it comes to ghosts. I need that expertise for my research."_ ] Luigi started to reply when some electronic interference broke their connection. For just a moment Gadd thought he saw the shocked face of a beautiful strange woman, then the interference cleared away leaving his screen blank.

 **Dark Land, Bowser's Castle, Throne Room**

"Sounds like an exciting day." Kammey commented to the communicator. "No word here about Rogueport yet. You know news travels slow this way, though I'm sure the princess is tightening up over it. Heh heh."

"Cheeky." Bowsette's voice sounded far away through the device. "How's news of my death going?"

"That news is moving much faster. Kamek is off playing foreign diplomat, and stirring things up. Everyone else is still in shock. You really should have brought more people into the circle."

Bowsette paused, a troubled look on her face. "I couldn't. I couldn't let my secret get out yet. In the future, maybe. I definitely want to tell people in the days to come. Actually that might be a good side project for you. Make a short list of potential people to bring into the plan. The Bowsette legacy doesn't carry much stock yet, but my old name may win some important allies. The good news is my funeral should be a veritable whos who of interesting individuals. So you'll have pick of the litter." Bowsette smirked. A part of her kind of wanted to attend her own burial ceremony. That would be more surreal than wearing a mask of her former face had been.

"Are you going to ever tell Jr?" Kammey abruptly changed the subject, wiping the smile off Bowsette's face.

"That would just make things worse. I'll make it up by being an even better mother to him." She replied, sounding a little defensive.

 **Bowser's Castle, Weapons Vault**

Jr was in the subterranean weapon storage, a room that rivaled the throne room in size. He and Troopa Jr were building a large mecha warsuit to take revenge on Mario, but in the process they had hit a snag. It was too big for just the two of them to operate, so they brought in Koopa Kid, someone liked slightly more than Troopa Jr. _Slightly_.

Koopa Kid had been cloned from Bowser, before Jr was born. Unfortunately something had gone wrong and the clone never aged or matured past a certain point. He lacked Troopa Jr's obnoxiousness, making up for it with boundless energy. He was currently bouncing around wearing the big green goomba boots and being annoying, instead of attaching them to the mech. Jr was welding Smithy's upper body onto the Monty Tank bottom. The Deadbolt Hammer was leaned against Jr's work table. Troopa Jr was off securing some chain chomps. Or he was supposed to be doing that.

Thinking about chain chomps made him think of a story his dad told himonce, long ago, about where chain chomps came from. Bowser had told him they came from a far away kingdom. So far away in fact that no warp pipes had been built that long. So far that any ship would sink years before it ever laid eyes on the icy shore. So far away that even the sunlight was cold by the time it reached there. But chomps could survive the journey because they were nearly immortal. Meaning any chain chomp you met was already ancient. Of course when he asked how his dad knew all this he had changed the subject. Thinking about his dad brought fresh tears to his eyes, making him glad his eyes were covered by goggles.

"Hey losers!" Troopa Jr called out. Following him was Morton Koopa dragging a pair of barking chain chomps behind him. "We almost done or what?"

 **Bowser's Castle, Throne Room**

"Look, I know this plan isn't perfect, alright? I get it. But it'll pay off in the end. Just give it time." Bowsette looked like she was about to say more, but instead- "I have to go. My ride is arriving. Keep Jr's spirits up until I can make things better. Okay?"

"Where are you of fto next?"

"Glitzville, of all places. My tag-along prophet slash wizard insists my destiny is that way. Okay now I do have to go. I'll call soon." Bowsette hung up as people started boarding the Cheep Cheep Blimp. The Excess Express pulling into the station almost exactly when Merlon said it would, a fact that secretly annoyed Bowsette.

 **Rogueport Train Station**

Arriving on this train and fresh from the Mushroom Kingdom, was Detective Pennington. He had been unable to prove Bowser's suicide to the skeptical Mario, but he knew he was right. The koopa king had killed himself, the question of why remained, however. And it was a rather imposing 'why.' Pennington had only passed through Rogueport previously, never stopping. Nonetheless he was sure the smoking Westside ruins were a new addition to the local infastructure.

🎶"A wandering hero came, she found a port of gloom, she saved us from a snail, and left with quiet a boom. Bowsette…"🎶 A strange green character paused mid-warble. "What rhymes with Bowsette… Hmmm! What if her name was June? I could work with that."

"Excuse me." Pennington said "Who is this person you're singing about?"

"How much it to you?" Grifty replied.

"Do you mean, ' _What is it worth_ to me?"

"I know what I said." Grifty replied. Pennington fished out a gold coin from his bag and flipped it to the street bard. "Our glorious liberator, Bowsette, of course!. She came in quietly but she left loudly." He glanced around before continuing. "She more or less wiped out the local organized crime. Well, the nastier criminals at any rate."

"Bow...sette." Pennington stroked his chin- uh, his lower face area. "Tell me everything about this Bowsette."

"Notha' coin please, yes."


	7. The City of Lights and Fights

**Glitzville**

There are in this world many kingdoms and fiefdoms, big cities, small towns, obscure villages, and at least one mighty empire to the west. But there was another place that was harder to define and draw boarders around. The misnomer-titled 'Sky Land,' A seemingly endless area high above the ground-based inhabitants. The most well known place of this category is, of course, Glitzville. Over Vibe Island you have Giddy Sky at this level. There's the mysterious Honeycomb Skyway, Cloud Castle and Nimbus Land. Some say there's a giant Sand Bird that rules this level to the south, and if you go even further there are tales of a Sky Garden over the untamed countries. Glitzville was on the lower end of the spectrum, but it had a view of the Skyward Stalk to the north. What wasn't visible from here was the stalk beginning to bend and twist out, as if hitting some invisible barrier. Bowsette knew this because they had put a race track on it. The kart fever of years past had expressed itself in increasingly volatile and dangerous situations. One day the stalk would come down, and take out a third of the continents populace and infrastructure with it. Bowsette made a mental note to find a solution for that problem in the future.

Then you had the assorted floating structures, castles, fortresses and derelict airships. Slightly higher but but still below the top of the Skyward Stalk was the Star-Crossed Skyway, then beyond the stalk was the Star Realm. The rainbow road hanging in the heavens like a crown of colors. Home of the Star Road, and other places that invariably had star in their name somewhere. The inhabitants of the higher realms were known for their architecture and magic-based technology, not for creative nomenclature. And here shining in the sky like an explosion of neon migraines was Glitzville, the only entertainment themed establishment in Sky Land. Bowsette was leaning on the barrier surrounding the floating island, watching the clouds drift, thinking about all of this. The Sky Land was an important piece of the pie. In a game where the high ground wins, the one that controlled the sky would be hard to overthrow. And it would serve as a stepping stone to the Star Realm...

"Enchanting sight, is it not, Star Child?"

"What?" Bowsette asked, not turning around. She knew by now that he would continue regardless of her attention, or interest.

"The vision granted us by this marvel of technology, of course. Built by lakitu and koopa paratoopas. Once the had the base built the koops would climb Bean Stalks to get to work. Too high for those types to fly, you know. But if they slip they could flutter down enough to grab the stalks. Quite harrowing I must say. I used to sit at the train station watching them build this, until I was asked to stop. You nod off one time in public and suddenly you're a nuisance. A wizard nuisance, can you imagine such a thing? Ha! Boggles the mind."

"I can kind of imagine that." Bowsette replied dryly.

"Well you are quite imaginative, my dear. Very few things you couldn't, eh, ponder I rightly expect." He paused. "Your order was called by the way."

"Arrggghh." She growled, "Why didn't you lead with that?"

"And spoil such a divinely rewarded scenery? Never! Not by my mustache, nor its eleven hundred whiskers. The moment must be lived, and seen, and lived some more until each and every..." He kept going but Bowsette ignored him, turning her full attention to the hot dog stand operator, one Mr Hoggle by name tag. The menu had listed hot dogs, fat dogs, Southern Fried Egg Dog of Tastiness, and something called a Tongue Blistering Fat Dog. Bowsette had been intrigued, and also starved for something with meat.

"You be careful with that, ma'me, oink. Its terribly spicy oink. Some people can't handle the burn." He warned her. He seemed alright as service industry workers go, but she already missed the super friendly Peeka, and Podley's old-man charm. Mr Hoggle just seemed like he wanted to shut down for the day. Thoughts of potential bean stalk disasters, Sky Land ambitions and the majesty of the skyward view were blown out of her mind with the first bite. Something about being mostly human brought new sensations. The juices and sauce made tears leak from her eyes, and her throat to burn in a way fire breath didn't, and yet she couldn't stop eating. By the time she was done her lips were numb and it hurt to breathe, but she was also extremely satisfied.

"That was the greatest meal of my life!" She burped a fireball. "S'cuse me. Wow."

"Thank you, ma'me. Oink. It warms my heart to see someone enjoy my food oink." Mr Hoggle looked a little more present now. Even Merlon's eyes were glowing big in his hood.

"Princess Explosion, I have failed you as a companion, for that sight should have been committed to history via song and play. Never in my life have I felt fear at the vision of someone eating a sandwich, yet here my heart rattles unsteadily within me. You desolated that with the ferocity of a Prehistoric Tyrant! So savage, yet so engrossing. I tried to look away yet I stood transfixed." A quill and book appeared from within his sleeves and he started scribbling furiously. "Please, Mr Hoggle, describe the situation while its fresh!. I must have posterity."

"It was like having a nightmare, oink, but from the outside."

"Poetry!" Merlon declared wildly.

"Hey, whiskers." Bowsette snapped her greasy fingers between his face and the open book. "Where to next. We're here because of your spirits."

"Foolish mortal, you do not demand of the spirits! They speak not when compelled, but when compelling! In whispers and riddles and secret... things!"

"Merlon, do wizards fly by any chance?"

"Eh, the spirits... are speaking to meeeee! We must go to... uh... the juice bar!" Merlon sputtered. "A wandering master awaits us!"

"R-i-i-i-g-h-t."

Fresh Juice Bar was shockingly similar to Podley's Place, just with different types of stains, and it was much brighter lit, in the aggressively colorful style of Glitzville. The bigger shock was Podley himself standing behind the counter.

"Podley? How the heck did you get here before us? You got a secret elevator?"

"Names Podler, ma'me. Podley's my brother. We share a strong family resemblance people say." In reality they looked exactly the same, down to the same clothes. "Evening. Get you folks a cup of the good juice?"

"Actually we're here to meet... _someone_. A wandering master type. Apparently." She glared at Merlon who pretended to not notice.

"You checked the Glitz Pit? Folks don't come all the way up here for beverages."

X X X

Shadow Guy didn't like Glitzville. It was too bright. Too colorful. Too... Glitzville, for his refined tastes. It made hiding in the shadows especially hard with the noticeable lack of shadows. But he had to keep an eye on Lord Bowser. The crown had done something to him, a strange curse had be plagued the dark lands king, and now he was acting out of sorts, For whatever reason the castle staff were just going with the madness! Some of them actually seemed to believe he was dead. It was up to him than, to save his king from this absurd malediction.

X X X

The Glitz Pit was somehow everything Glitzville and nothing Glitzville at the same time. It was screamingly bright, and an obvious tourist trap, but it also smelled a little bit like a locker room, and dirt. It was also extremely crowded with tourists. "What does this wandering master look like?" Bowsette asked over the murmur of the crowd, but Merlon had gotten separated from her somehow.

"WELCOME TO AMATEUR NIGHT AT THE GLITZ PIT!" A voice boomed from speakers hanging from the ceiling. "Tonight we have an incredible match-up. MASTER MANTIS stepping into the SQUARED CIRCLE but who can face this MAESTRO of the MARTIAL ARTS?" The crowed chattered louder and applauded. Whoever was on the loud speakers was an old hand at whipping up a crowd. "HERE HE COMES! The BIGGEST of the BIG BADS and the RE-E-E-EINING ENTRY LEVEL CHAMP-I-I-I-I-O-N! DON BONGOOOOOO!" If the crowd was stirred before it was going into a frenzy now.

Bowsette pushed herself closer to the front to get a look at this Master Mantis, and the floor began to tremble. The wandering master was a human, wore a purple robe and either gray earphones, or earmuffs. Hard to tell from the distance. His prominent red nose told a story of enjoying 'the good stuff' as Podley might say. His opponent looked like a dinosaur balloon stuffed with jelly, its belly button protruding outward like a basketball. "TRY TO DODGE MY BOUNCING BLUBBER. JUST DON'T HIT MY LIPS OF RUBBER! The goofy-looking monster bellowed. His arsenal of attacks seemed largely based on stomping, or squishing his opponent with his belly. First he attacked the belly button with a combination of punches and kicks, but that only made the beast of blubber jiggle. Mantis dodged backwards as Don tried to squish him, not even close to connecting. You don't need to be fast when you're invulnerable. Bowsette could not shake the feeling that she had met this particular monster before, though where and when refused to reveal itself to her memory.

"ARRRRGGGHHH." The beast grumbled. The fight went on for a few more minutes, neither opponent able to inflict damage on the other.

"Hit his lips!" Bowsette yelled, exasperated. "The giant lips?"

Don Bongo came at Mantis again, but this time the master leaped ten feat into the air and unleashed a flurry of kicks and punches, seemingly hovering in the air momentarily. One more dramatic punch in the mush and the monster was toppled, Master Mantis landing like a cat and straightening his robes. Bowsette realized then that Mantis had been merely toying with Bongo this entire fight. Short as it was.

"THAT'S IT FOLKS! THE TITAN HAS FALLEN! THE KING OF KISSES IS DOWN! HIS REIGN TOPPLED!" The crowd was losing its mind as Mantis made his exit. Forgetting Merlon for the moment, Bowsette moved to intercept the master, catching him outside.

"Hey! Mantis! I've been looking for you!"

"Have you now? Truly it is as they say. When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." Master Mantis spun around, his long gray ponytail whipping behind him, his fists held in a defensive pose. "Show me what you have, child. Do not hold back!"


	8. Fight like a Girl

A/N I am rewriting the previous chapters for various reasons. Two chapters have been switched around to fix the timeline, but mostly the story is the same, though one chapter is criminally short now. My point is all previous chapters may be tweaked or rewritten further, but the story plot remains entact as you have seen it so far. On one hand I wanted to wait until all the edits to post this in the event anyone needed a refresher, but on the other hand you all have waited long enough for a continuation, so here it is and I hope you enjoy it. As always this chapter dating message will be removed when the mass edit is completed.

Bowsette threw a very wild punch which Master Mantis deflected with two fingers of his left hand. "Again!" Bowsette tried a slash attack with her nails which Mantis dodged easily by spinning away from it. "Another please." This time she tried surprising him with a kick, but he simply took a step backwards. "Enough!" He turned his back on her and began to walk away.

"Wait! What was that? Did I pass some test or something?" Bowsette ran up beside him, blushing with some frustration. She didn't know what she had expected from this meeting, then again, she hadn't known what to expect from this side trip anyway. Following direction by a wizard was proving even more erratic than making it up as she went along.

"I'm afraid not. I have learned nothing of value from this encounter, but that which is to be avoided, of which I have plenteous knowledge, Though I thank you for the spirited exhibition." The master produced a box of noodles from somewhere in his robe and began to indulge himself as they walked to a table ion Podler's bar. "Your posing is mediocre and untrained."

"Hey! I've fought M-M-M-many times in the past, and almost won several times, training or not!" She had almost blurted out her arch rival's name, but name dropping such a high profile person would have been problematic to her narrative.

" _That_ was fighting?" Master Mantis raised one eyebrow. "My apologies. I thought you were posing, which was quite bad by itself. There may not exist words to describe your fighting style's terribleness." he commented quite conversationally.

"Gee, tell me what you really think..."

"It's not your fault, young one. Fighting well comes from good Qi. Qi comes from mastery of the pose. Therefore, you must master your posing before you master your fighting."

"Hold up! Excuse me, official wizard business!" Merlon pushed his way through the sudden crowd of thirsty tourists, holding his journal up like a badge of authority as he ran to Bowsette's table. "I hereby require... as the privilege vested me... by our mutual agreement... a complete chronicle of..." Merlon being winded was both amusing and disconcerting at the same time.

"Is the wheezing wizard with you?"

"Yeah, he's with me." Bowsette scooted over on the bench so Merlon could sit down before he collapsed. "You didn't miss much. He challenged me to a fight-"

"Pose dual." Mantis corrected her, popping another dumpling into his mouth.

"That, and I lost because I'm terrible."

"You lost? Did you try blowing him up?"

"Explosion style does trump martial arts." Mantis confirmed.

"That was a one time thing! Not my signature move!" Bowsette blushed again, but in anger this time. "Where did you go, anyway?" She wasn't really interested. She just wanted a topic shift. It would have been interrupted anyway, as Podler brought their drink orders to the table.

"I was registering myself up as your wrestling manager." Merlon replied matter-of-factually.

"My what now?" Bowsette paused, her glass suspended between the table and her mouth.

"Your wrestling manager. Surely you didn't come here not to partake in the festivities?"

"I came here because a lonely wizard claimed he could see my future!"

"Wizards are a solitary lot by our very-"

"I accept your application as my new student." Mantis cut in before Merlon could gain momentum. "Training will begin shortly, young Katydid."

Bowsette weighed the pros and cons in her mind. Becoming a Glitz Pit fighter could be a relatively quick and easy way to grab some popularity, while avoiding any real danger, right?

"Keep your training montages, Mantis. If they're all as 'tough' as Bongo, I shouldn't have any trouble." She smirked. Merlon and Mantis shared a look, their expressions inscrutable.

Rogueport

"This Bowsette woman, she came from nowhere, started a fight with the local gang, blew up half the dock and disappeared all in the span of a day, do I have all of that correct, my boy?" Pennington asked Charlieton the merchant.

"That's all about her, yeah. But can I maybe interest you in some exotic items for affordable prices..."

"And, not to be obtuse here, but none of this seemed strange to the locals?"

Charlieton shrugged. "Mm... wandering hero image. Fighting the amoral mmm... type and such. It's a thing they do, yeah."

"I suppose." Pennington replied slowly. It was true that 'knight errant' types would arrive somewhere without warning, give right some wrongs or shake the establishment, and then disappear with minimal (if any) fanfare. If she was a person of interest she probably wouldn't be drawing such attention to herself as she had. But something about it didn't click in his mind. An important piece of the puzzle was amiss and the game was now afoot.

Glitz Pit

"I'm sorry, you want to sign up to fight?" A red toadstool squinted at Bowsette. "This ain't the Mushroom Wrestling Federation, lady. People get hurt here."

"Let's assume I'm well aware of the risks." Bowsette drummed her long black nails on the desk in impatience. "I've seen the competition, I think I'll be fine."

"Sure. Whatever." The bored toadstool replied, shoving roughly eight pounds of paperwork towards her. "See you in the ring." Later on, after Bowsette had signed, dated and initialized what seemed like hundreds of sheets of paper, she was nearly ready to admit defeat. She hadn't thrown the first punch and already her hand felt damaged beyond repair. As the orange toad girl showed her to the locker room, she saw posters of various prominent champions of the past. Then she caught sight of something that stopped her cold in her tracks. A poster of her arch-rival, Mario!

"The Great Gonzales." The orange toad girl commented with something like awe. "He's in the Hall of Fame along with such heroes as Prince Mush and Rawk Hawk."

"Gonzales? I didn't know Mario had a middle name." Bowsette mused. It was possible that Mario had operated under a false name in the past, for whatever reasons. She wondered what the story there was.

"So this is the locker room, you can prepare to fight here. Private rooms are that way. Remember, you can't sue us if you get hurt by your contract." With that she disappeared. Bowsette looked around and almost jumped out of her shell. "Merlon! Why are you sneaking around like a creeper?" Merlon was being uncharacteristically quiet for once.

"I sense an ill wind blowing our way. A vile breath of darkness that will-"

"Yeah yeah. Follow the vague spirits suggestion and blah blah blah. We got this, Merlon. You'll see." She replied confidently.

The next day...

"WELCOME BAAAAACK TO. THE. GLITZ PIT! IN TONIGHTS CONTEST WE HAVE IN THE GREEN CORNER, THE CROWD PLEASER, THE COMPETITION SQUEEZER, THE BLUBBER CAESAR... DON BONNNNNNGO!" Despite his recent defeat at a newcomer, Bongo still had a strong fan base and they still cheered wildly for their green Goliath. "ANNNNNNNND IN THE RED CORNER, MAKING HER EXPLOSIVE DEBUT IN THE 'PIT, THE WANDERING ADVENTURER PRINCESS BOWSETTE!" The applause was more polite than excited, the energy noticeably coming down a notch. Another noticeable thing was Bongo's new face gear, a leather and steel mesh mask that covered his mouth entirely.

"Try to dodge my bouncing blubber, don't worry about my lips of rubber!" Bongo almost sounded smug.

"Well, crap." Bowsette muttered to herself. Merlon would never let her hear the end of this one. Bowsette launched herself at the huge dinosaur, unleashing punches rapid fire style, which Bongo calmly endured until she had ceased her frantic attack, utterly unfazed, though possibly amused. "So, uh. Hey." Bowsette looked sheepishly up at the dinosaur. Wanna call this one a tie, go grab a hot dog or something." Bowsette had the strange feeling of deja vu, like she had met Bongo somewhere before this. Maybe Bongo sensed this, because he stood still, perhaps accepting her suggestion to grab some grub. Sure, Bowsette had been impetuous, and a bit bratty, but maybe she could learn to be patient, accepting and maybe even graceful in light of these most recent events.

Then Bongo fell on her, like a living, breathing avalanche.

Afterward

"Welcome back." Mantis commented cheerfully, as he busily bused tables at the juice bar. To his credit, he did not remark on Bowsette's appearance. She had a black eye, random bruises and band aids on her body, and her right arm was wrapped in an ace bandage. "I see you met with some difficulty, Young Katydid."

"Things did not go according to my plan." Bowsette grumbled, collapsing into a seat at the same table from yesterday. Merlon began to say something, but she silenced him with a black-eyed glare. "I may, possibly be in need of some fight training after all." She conceded.

"Hm. Meet me in one hour outside. Then we will see what you have inside you, Young Katydid."

"Is this time for me to meditate on my failure, or to do some stretches or something?"

"No, that is when my shift ends." With that Mantis returned to his temp-job of waiting table at the Juice Bar.

X X X

"Before I teach you the skills of self-defense, I must first impart to you the sage words of days long go. A sacred pact that one must accept to learn the skill I would impart. Please read and sign at the bottom." Master Mantis produced an ancient looking piece of parchment scroll.

" _The participant, hereby known as "the student" does herewith accept with full knowledge and consent that they (the student) have agreed to partake herein with taxing and potentially extraneous, if not damaging external stimuli pertaining to the physical and/or mental and/or emotional and/pr financial and/or spiritual, and the subject by agreement here is accepting full responsibility for any damages occurred and are barred from taking legal actions against Master Mantis. Results are not typical and the student's development will vary by degrees beyond Master Mantis's control. All rights reserved_. © circa 2004

"Oh. I thought you would want the blood of my enemy or something." Bowsette mumbled to herself. Without thinking she signed her name as 'Bowser Koopa' before realizing what she had done. "Grambidammit." She hissed under her breath.

"Thank you." Master Mantis rolled up the scroll without looking at it and whisked it away to somewhere in his robe. "Prepare yourself, Young Katydid."

Bowsette awkwardly held her fists in front of her, unsure what was about to happen. Merlon stood by, pen poised and eager to fill a page of his journal.

"Attack me." Master Mantis stood calmly, hands clasped behind his back.

It was a repeat of the day before, though longer in duration. She was tripped, pinched, flipped and basically never even comes close to landing an actual hit.

"You fight all wrong." Mantis tsk'd. "Have you had this body for long?"

"I... what now?"

"Hehe. I apologize for the sarcasm. Its just you have terrible posture and balance. You have such a slender form, yet you attack as though you were four times your size. You have strength, but not the mass. There's potential for agility, yet you move like a tank. You have an extremely useful tail that you don't utilize, and dare I sense an aura of magic within you?"

"Huh." She hadn't noticed, but her elongated tail was controllable, and while not even close to prehensile, it did have some unexplored possibilities.

"Leap into the air and spin kick." Master Mantis commanded. Bowsette managed a half-circle kick, but crashed to the ground unceremoniously. "Again." Mantis barked.

And so it went, with Bowsette practicing kicks and punches for hours, a free spectacle for the steady stream of tourists coming and going around them. By the end of the day she had gotten very good at leaping and spinning, almost seeming to float in the air as she spun and twirled like a ballerina.

"That was fun." Bowsette panted sarcastically, as the sunset beautifully in the distance and really making Glitzville shine, "but I fail to see the usefulness."

"You have to build your stamina for your _real_ training." Mantis replied. "Which will be much harder and tiring. Okay, your break is now over, Katydid."

"My WHAT?"


End file.
